Dear Yellowfang
by Shadowed Horizon
Summary: Based on Dear Abby, here is Dear Yellowfang. Got a problem? Need advice? Write to everyone's favorite, badtempered former ShadowClan meddie cat! Rated T in case. I'm coauthoring with xxEmogaLxx, yay!
1. Intro

**This is like 'Dear Abby' (you know, when you ask 'Abby' something and she answers - usually about a problem), except this is 'Dear Yellowfang'. I'm pretty sure no one else has come up with idea, but if this already is someone else's idea, I'm sorry about not asking but I never knew.**

**I went up to StarClan and CAPTURED YELLOWFANG!! Then I had to spend a week in the emergency room for that. So now I keep her tied up under my bed. Don't worry, she gets enough to eat and she's not dying...(again). Write to her before gets loose, murders me (I'm too young to die!!), runs outside, gets run over by a car and goes back up to StarClan!**

_Got a problem? Need some advice? Write a letter to Yellowfang and she'll do her best to give you comfort and solve your problems because she's so COMPASSIONATE, CARING and LOVING._

**Mm 'kay, if you want to ask questions, go ahead. I have permission from Tainted Shadow Watcher/xXFlamingAssasinXx to do 'Ask' stories.**

**--deviL a.wakenn**


	2. YAY!

**First batch of letters--yay! Thanks to all who wrote, and we (Yellowfang: Who's 'we'??)-- okay, _I_ hope you continue to write in the future. Enjoy!**

* * *

_Dear Yellowfang,_

_1. Have you read the one fanfic by Mew-Blueberry yet, called warrior Princess? It's very hilarious, because all the she-cats keep mauling Fireheart. Have you ever felt the same way, and wanted to maul Fireheart?  
2. When you were in StarClan, watching over Fireheart, don't you think that he became overly perfect in The New Prophecy?  
3. What's your favorite fresh-kill?  
4. What made you want to be a medicine cat?  
5. What did you do while you were a rogue for awhile?  
6. Are you bored of my questions?  
7. How do you feel about Jaypaw coming into other cat's dreams?  
8. Do you like muffins?  
Thanks! That's all,  
Mooseantler  
P.S. You rock my socks!_

Dear Mooseantler,

1. Yes, I've read the story, I think it's awesome! About mauling him: yes and no. Right now, I want to feed him perfect-b-gone herbs.  
2. Yes, I did and so did every other cat in StarClan, except for Spottedleaf. -winkwink-nudgenudge- (smirk)  
3. Anything that makes me full.  
4. Deathberries. So I can trick cats into eating them if they tick me off. Then they die of poison. )  
5. Anything a rogue does--steal food, scare apprentices, walk around doing nothing.  
6. Yes.  
7. Grr...  
8. If Firestar is a muffin, then no--I mean, yes. -shifty eyes-  
--Yellowfang  
P.S. Thanks!

_dear YELLOWfang,_

_people think i am crazy because i was sick and mom wanted to make me  
take my pills and because i am pacily crazy.what should i do?MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH  
Ghostkit_

Dear Ghostkit,

I agree with those people.  
(Lynne: whacks Yellowfang Be nice!)  
First of all, I'm sorry but even though I've learned human-speak, I've no idea what 'pacily' means. Also, if those pills are good for you, then take them. If not, throw them out. Oh and tell those people they're crazy and that they should go burn in HellClan.  
--Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang,_

I took a stupidity test a few days ago and I am deeply troubled by the results.  
My score was 20/36, and I am afraid I might not be smart enough to work at McDonalds. Please help me.  
xxEmogaLxx

Dear xxEmogaLxx,

I fear anything I say will be too much for you to handle. All I have to say is: a job at McDonald's is better than living on the streets.  
--Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang,_

Let's say there is this guy, we'll call him...Ash. And this girl, we'll call her Squirrel. Ash was in love with her, but she was really faking it to get Bramble, another ThunderClan ca- er, GUY, jealous.  
She broke up with Ash and had kit- KIDS, three bratty ones, with Bramble. Can you help Ashfu- ASH, get over it?  
-Ferncloud, WHOISNOTASH'SFAN

Dear Ferncloud,

Ouch, poor Ash. First, shove a couple deathberries down Squirrel's throat for being so mouse-brained, then tell Ash that Squirrel's a--(use your imagination, but make it bad) and that he deserves better. If he doesn't believe you, tell him what you told me. If he STILL doesn't believe you, then he's mouse-brained too.  
--Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang,_

I tend to stalk forest cats. I've already talked to Ashfur, and he's fine with it, but I'm scared Crowfeather will yell at me! WAH!!  
Sincerely,  
Demon Kitty Girl

Dear Demon Kitty Girl,

If it looks like he's going to yell, you have two options:  
a) Tell him he's mean and run away as fast as possible  
-OR-  
b) Yell at him first and run away as fast as possible.  
--Yellowfang  
P.S. Lynne says she likes _Bathed in Blue_.

* * *

**Yayy! First bunch of questions! Review PLEASE and write to Yellowfang! Ghostkit, can you please write again, neither Yellowfang nor I understood your question. Bye bye for now!  
**

_** --deviL a.wakenn and Yellowfang**  
_


	3. MORE LETTERS!

**YAY SECOND BATCH OF QUESTIONS! Thanks to everyone who wrote, I think Yellowfang enjoys this even though she says she doesn't.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Warriors, I'm not Erin Hunter and Yellowfang is not mine. AND I forgot to mention: xxEmogaLxx helped in the last chappie, and I can't believe I didn't mention that '( So Thank you xxEmogaLxx YAY!!**_  
_

* * *

_TEE HEE, this should be fun. Get ready for some torture Yellowfang!_

_Dear Yellowfang,_

_I think 'Ash' is lonely, and he liked Squirrelflight (I mean 'Squirrel') out of NO WHERE, and he should get a life and go marry Whitewing or Leopardstar, and she was mating with Bramble first!_

_I found a new herb called Tobacco. I gave it to all the cats, and all the ShadowClan cats found nicitine in the dump, and now they're addicted. How do I stop them?_

_I killed Nightcloud and made it look like Blackstar did it, and no he's in the place of no stars. How do I stop huilt from eating me alive?_

_I'm a Half-Clan, and I'm always teased. You're from ShadowClan, and you're ThunderClan's meddie cat, so how do I stop them from taunting me?_

_Good hunting,  
Leopardfrost, daughter of Heatherpaw and Lionpaw_

Torture is not fun.

Dear Leopardfrost,

Being lonely is a reason. You can have fun convincing Ash that Squirrel is not 'the one' for him. Also, I wish you luck on forcing him to get a life. (That's not really my area.)

If they're all addicted to tobacco, then that's your fault. I'm not helping you. If you're worried about ShadowClan, then take the dump away.

And he would go to the place of no stars...why, exactly?

Be the best warrior you can and never give anyone a reason to doubt you. They'll have to see sometime that you're not anything like a traitor...Unless you are.

--Yellowfang

_1. Do you see Raggedstar often in StarClan?  
2. Who is your favorite of Squirrelflight's kits?  
3. Who is your favorite Clan cat?  
4. What is it like to be dead?_

Dear Klnsh,

1. What do you think?  
2. Never Jaypaw. Uh...Probably Hollypaw. She's cool. )  
3. Dead: Raggedstar. Alive: Cinderpaw.  
4. Awful.

_dear yellowfang,_

_IT SAID PARSHILY(thats not spelled right ether is it)yay i concorded the cold OH I cant spell why your anwser is my name MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA  
ghostKIT_

Dear Ghostkit,

It's 'partially' and 'conquered'. If your 'craziness' is recently acquired, then yes, you probably should take your pills. But the best solution is to ask your doctor, he/she/it knows best.  
--Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang,_

_1. Pepsi or coke?  
2. Why don't you appear much in TNP? D:  
3. Lol Jaypaw called you stinky_

Dear Hollypaw,

1. Neither.  
2. I'm dead and I'm not a message-delivering cat.  
3. Grr...why that little...(swears for 10 minutes)  
--Yellowfang

_1. Spottedleaf?  
2. Do you think Firestar is cool?  
3. What happens in The Sight? (I haven't read it yet!) Oops, don't answer that.  
4. Wait... there is no 4_

Dear Swiftpaw Spirit  
1. ...Spottedleaf...?  
2. No. He's too perfect.  
3. Thanks for asking.  
4. Okay.  
--Yellowfang

* * *

**Didya like it? Take maybe 10 seconds to hit that bluey-purpley button that says 'Go' (make sure the action is 'Submit Review') and tell me how it was/write to everybody's favorite, bad-tempered meddie cat!**

**--deviL a.wakenn, xxEmogaL and Yellowfang**


	4. Desicion! Yay!

**Hey guys, I'm sorry that it's been so long, and that not all your questions are here. My computer's acting a little funny and I can't find the reviews, so yeah. I'll try to get all of your questions next time, but don't count on it.**

**Disclaimer: Co-authoring with xxEmogaLxx, so half mine, half hers. This chappie is more hers, though. Not Erin Hunter, don't own Warriors, don't own Yellowfang**

**...She's Raggedstar's.**

* * *

_Dear Yellowfang, (?)  
1. I feel relatively mouse-brained, but how do you post a story on this site?  
2. Advise: Hurry up and chew through whatever you're tied up with and make a run for it!  
Hope you are successfull,  
Caitlyn Cullen (Yes, like the Twilight vampires. It's not my real last name.)  
_  
Dear Caitlyn,  
1.Bring me fresh-kill.  
2.Login.  
3.Go to 'Documents'.  
4.Upload your chapter(s) on separate files and name them.  
5.Go to 'Stories'.  
6.Click on 'New Story' on the top left hand corner.  
7.Read the Guidelines and click 'Yes I agree' (or something like that).  
8.Now go to 'New Story' again.  
9.Select a category.  
10.Fill out everything. On the documents drop-down menu, select your story.  
11.Click 'Submit story'.  
12.Bring me fresh-kill.  
--Yellowfang

Can I have money?

Dear xxEmogaLxx,  
No.  
--Yellowfang

1. I just was wondering if Spottedleaf regrets giving Firestar her blessing with Sandstorm.  
2. Do you look forward to the day when Firestar dies?  
3. Is there a place "bad cats", for lack of a better word, go when they die?  
4. Crystalpelt is building a Yellowfang shrine. What flowers do you like?

Dear Steelclaw,

1.I'll let you in on a secret: Spottedleaf hates Sandstorm. She only gave Firestar her blessings with Sandstorm to make Firestar love her more.  
2.No way! I don't want to spend the rest of eternity with a perfectionest! XP  
3.It's called The Place of No Stars, otherwise known as the place where you will end up at if you ask me any more scary questions, sweetie. TT  
4.I like deathberries, holly and deadly nightshade.

--Yellowfang

Try setting your alarm clock 1020 minutes earlier than the time you wake up now. Do that for a week or so, and if all goes well, then set your alarm clock another 1020 minutes earlier the next week. Keep on doing that until school starts, and then you'll be able to wake up as early as you should by the time school starts. Make sure the last few days before school you can wake up when you're supposed to. That way you don't have to adjust to very drastic changes, which makes it much easier for your body to handle. NOTE: You might have to set your alarm clock earlier or later depending on when you're waking up.

If you're still afraid you might not be able to get up on time, try buying two alarm clocks. Set one of them about 10 minutes earlier than when you're suppose to wake up and the second one on the time you're suppose to wake up-- and only use it as a last resort. So when your first alarm clock rings, you can still snooze for a bit, but when your second one clangs away, it's time to get up--no excuses!

I hope that'll help you. But if you're still having problems with getting up on time, then I'm afraid you're doomed.

Or you can talk to other smart people about it.

--Yellowfang

Spottedleaf or Cinderpelt?  
Sprite, Mountain Dew, or Sierra Mist?  
Leopardstar, Blackstar, Onestar, or Firestar?  
Jaypaw, Kestrelpaw, Willo

* * *

wpaw?  
Which name, Yellowpelt, Yellowfur, Yellowteeth, Yellowclaw, Yellowfoot, Yellowfrost, Yelloweyes, Yellowgrowl, Yellowmouth, Yellowheart, Yellowsong, Yellowsnow (EW!), Yellowbird, Yellowfeather, Yellowlove, Yellowlight, Yellowtree, Yellowgrass, Yellowtwoleg, or Yellowcat?  
Would you kill Ashfur for a buck?

_DEAR YELLOW FANG,  
I DONT HAVE THE COLD ANYMORE HIS  
ghostkit  
_  
Dear Ghostkit,  
:)  
--Yellowfang

* * *

**I've come to a decision: I will untie Yellowfang, treat her more nicely, and let her move to my closet. Fair enough to all you people?**

** --deviL a.wakenn and xxEmogaLxx**


	5. Bunch of questions 4

**Another bunch of questions! Yay! I probably won't be able to get on very much over the school year, so I won't be able to check anything. GRR I hate school XP**

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothin'**

_

* * *

um...very amusing But i think yellowfang is 2 good at this. she shud always b like "HOW DO I KNOW?" or "what do i care?" or "get outa my face u stupid furball" or "mousebrain figure it out urself" and "its UR problem, NOT MINE! hey heres a question from me,_

_Hey yellowfang, Sandstorm keeps saying Firestar's hot and ITS REALLY ANNOYING! how do i make her stop!?!?!  
HEY SILVERSTAR! FIRESTARS FREAKEN HOT!  
-Silverstar of Moonclan_

Dear Silverstar,  
Yeah, but not all questions are humorous.  
A) Put duct tape around her mouth and keep it there for all eternity.  
B) Suck up to Firestar and tell him he's freakin' hot all the time.  
C) OR...the good ol' fashioned way... kill Sandstorm.  
--Yellowfang

_Dear YellowFang,  
1. How mad would you get if I told you I put a hunk of bologna in your newly equiped diaper?  
2. Why is the author insane/Idiotic/A complete retard? (DSon't worry Devil, I love you to! xD)  
3. I never read the first series and skipped straight to The New Prophecy. Is that bad?  
4. I forgot how to send reviews. D;  
5. Bored yet?  
6. Still?  
7. Do you want me to kill you with a hat?  
8. Chocolate Peanut Butter and Salt Crickets  
9. Oh wait. No 9.  
10. Oops I think my kitchen is on fire. GO FIRE! GO!  
11. Can I light your tail on fire with a string of potatos?  
_  
Dear Raya-San,  
1. My┘diaper???? -buys 10 billion machine guns- EXCUSE ME???  
2. Because. (Lynne loves you too)  
3. Yes. You should have read the first and skipped the New Prophecy.  
4. OMSC! GRRRR!!! That's okay.  
5. Yes.  
6. Still yes.  
7. After I finish this, sure, so I can go back to StarClan.  
8. Ew.  
9. -glares-  
10. #&$ FIRE??????  
11. WT-?!?!?!?!?!?!  
--Yellowfang

_Dear YellowFang,  
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?  
From,  
KK  
_  
Dear KK,  
A lot.  
--Yellowfang

_MAN YOUR ANNOYING (HISSES AND SNARLS)  
Ghostkit  
P.S.If you dont stop Ill call u a retard.  
P.S.S.Im seracis  
_Dear Ghostkit,  
THEN DON'T READ.  
--Yellowfang  
P.S. You do that.  
P.S.S. Okay.

* * *

**Send your questions in! Oh and Ghostkit, Yellowfang is SUPPOSED to be annoying...**

** --deviL a.wakenn & xxEmogaLxx**


	6. lalalalalala 5

**New chapter, yay!**

**Disclaimer: Don't Warriors and I'm not Erin Hunter, but this is my idea. Co-authoring with xxEmogaLxx, and Yellowfang is Raggedstar's. :)**

_

* * *

_

Dear Ghostkit,  
Um...  
--Yellowfang

_Hi Yellowfang! hugs kisses  
1. Someone I know keeps making faces at me. What do I do?  
2. Erm...looks around I messed with time and make Raggedstar not exist?  
3. What do you do when you're not answering questions or being grumpy?  
4. I love you.  
5. Don't tell anyone I said that, okay?  
_  
Dear Klnsh,  
1. Make faces back, or bite them. :)  
2. -buys 40 trillion AK-47s- MESS WITH TIME AGAIN AND BRING HIM BACK!!! Or I use these. -points to AK-47s and smiles sweeetly- All 40 trillion at once.  
3. Screaming insults at Lynne for taking me from my nice, peacaeful afterlife.  
4. :)  
5. Kinda hard not to do that since it's going up on FFN...  
--Yellowfang

_hi yellowfang ur awesome, besides the sappiness in the fire... XD  
1I have a problem, I'm writing a fanfiction of romance oneshots... and i have an annoying tendency to kill the toms... particularly Birchfall, so far he's died three times... XD what should i do to stop killing toms in my stories? I thought you'd understand, i mean, after all, you did kill a tom... ur own son, btw... for that, YOU"RE AWESOME! Plz advice!  
Mysterys  
_  
Dear Mysterys,  
Thanks, I know I am. :) Sappiness... blame Erin Hunter for sappiness! I DETEST SAPPINESS!!! GR.  
Brokentail...was..not a nice cat. -.-' Birchfall is. I hope.  
Hm...ask people who they want you to kill off...or just keep killing Firestar and make everybody happy. :)  
--Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang,  
Why didn't you save yourself during the fire? Who care's about some Stinky elder? Or were you just trying to die dramactically?  
YOU ROCK MY SOCKS STILL!  
--Moosey (formerly Sweptoverbypuppylove)  
P.S. Do you like my new name?  
_  
Dear Moosey,  
Ask Erin Hunter.  
It's nice to know how loved I am.  
--Yellowfang  
PS: Yep.

_Dear YellowFang,  
1. Dude, Ghostkit was seracis! OMG! Sound dangerous, huh YellowFang? XD  
2. There's a new clan. It's cally 'Ricky'Clan. :/  
3. I told my kit to stop harassing my vaccum, but he won't. What do I do?  
4. I have an insane crazy monkey aunt. She dreamt she was caling us. Why me? D; Do you have a crazy CAT aunt?  
_  
Dear Rava-San,  
1. What can Ghostkit do? I'm dead already...  
2. What's a Ricky?  
3. Suck him in.  
4. No, but my neices and nephews do. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
--Yellowfang

_YellowFang,  
Did you go to Otakon this year? ;)  
From, KK_

Dear KK, The only places I've been this year are StarClan and Lynne's freakin' crappy room.  
--Yellowfang

* * *

**Hey guys, how'd you like this chappie?**

**Just to tell you, this week or next couple of days I may be able to get on and write some chapters and update, but don't count on it. This might even be the last update before...Christmas break. **

**deviL a.wakenn & xxEmogaLxx**


	7. More questions 6

**Only 3 letters...sorry it's so short but I didn't want a gigantic chapter for next time, so...**

**You guys know my discalimer already, so I'm not gonna repeat it.**

_

* * *

1. You're a crazy kitty aunt? D; Can you be my crazy kitty aunt? You're so awesome.  
2. -Chicken flies out of no where- Eat him.  
_  
Dear Raya-San,  
1. No. :)  
2. Yum.  
--Yellowfang

_Yellowfang, you rock! I'm just doing this cuz I'm bored. What do you think I should do to unboredom myself?  
_  
Dear danagurl,  
Dunno.  
--Yellowfang

_WELL I HAVE SPEICAL KILLING POWERS(SHE BRING OUT RAGGEDSTAR AND HE IS TIED UP)HELP ME YELLOWFANG(HE IS CUT OFF BYE TAPE)MWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA  
GHOSTKIT  
_  
Dear Ghostkit,  
Raggedstar's _dead_...  
I pray you don't kill Firestar≈I really don't want to spend all eternity with a boring cat.  
--Yellowfang

* * *

**Send it your questions! But not too many...I'll still update whenever possible, don't worry. :)**

**deviL a.wakenn, xxEmogaLxx**


	8. More questions! 7

**We're terribly sorry for the late update, but I've been lazy and stuff. Anyway, every question here except for the last one is written by xxEmogaLxx, 'cuz her humor is much better than mine.**

**Disclaimer: Grr**

_

* * *

__fastened __to arm with tooth and claw Ouch...  
__Could you get him off of me? PLEASE?_

-runs up to Raggedstar purring like crazy—Raggedstar lets go and the two walk off purring with tails twined-

_I kiddnaped him form starclan REALLY  
__Ghostkit  
__P.S.DIE Firestar MWHAHAHAHHAHA_

Dear Ghostkit,  
Let him go, or I'll use every gun I have. And that's a lot.  
Okay, If you kill Firestar, I will haunt you and bore you to death. It'll be painful, trust me.  
--Yellowfang

_OK. so heres another question 4 yellowfang_

_Dear Yellowfang,_

_I'm sad, depressed. Tigerstar has just done the impossible. He's returned from Starclan. And he's trying to kill me. All my clanmates are depending on me but I to scared myself. Any ideas?_

_- Depressed_

_(this is from Firestar and based on The Return.)_

Dear Depressed,  
Tigerstar was never in StarClan anyway, so yes it is possible.  
Bring Scourge back to life and ask him to kill Tigerstar again.   
--Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang,_

_Would you want a better name?  
Am I slightly retarded?  
__What colour do you like? (Shrine's not done yet)  
__Who asks better questions? Steelclaw or me?  
__Crystalpelt_

Dear Crystalpelt,  
1. Excuse me? There is no such thing as a better name then Yellowfang!  
2. If you say so.  
3. Enough with the silly questions.  
4. Neither.  
-Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang  
__1.Why are you so cool?  
__2.Can I PLEASE just make Firestar lose a couple lives? Shows expensive __harpoon I REALLY want to use this! HA HA HA!  
__3.Do you think Brambleclaw is cool?  
__4.What about Tigerstar?  
__5.Um...Do you like McDonalds? runs away  
__Stormwind_

Dear Stormwind,  
1. Because I was born that way.  
2. Have fun. But don't say I didn't warn you.  
3. Not as cool as me.  
4. -bares teeth-  
5. Running away is the smartest thing you've said so far. :D  
-the utterly cool Yellowfang

_1. Why not? D;  
2. Stabbing random Riverclan cats is fun, huh:)  
Raya-San_

Dear Raya-san,  
First of all, it is totally not cool to not at least start with a greeting when writing to me (e.g. Dear Yellowfang,)  
- the almighty Yellowfang.  
And for those questions of yours...  
1. Because I said so.  
2. Unless you're that RiverClan cat.  
-Yellowfang

_Dear, Yellowfang_

_I suddenly picked up a craving for you. I don't know why. Anyway, a __three-day weekend is coming up. what should I do to keep myself entertained? Oh, __and should I join Chourus or just keep my happy, boring, life? Yellowfang, __You're awesome. Don't forget it.  
__-Bristlefur_

Dear Bristlefur,  
Maybe it's because I'm incredibly beautiful...  
...Or my great sense of humor.  
Three-day weekend, eh? I bet it's too late by the time you get this message, and your weekend is already over. But maybe for your next three-day weekend, you can create a shrine for me like the one Crystalpelts claims to be working on. And how can you be happy when you say your life is monotonous? I know I'm awesome. And it's very unlikely I'm going to forget it.  
--Yellowfang

_hello? i gave u a question? the icekit one? lol here it is  
__Dear Yellowfang,  
__(pouts) my mommy wont let me go to the gathering. its supposed 2 be a g__ood one since tiggywiggystar's back. is he really such a meanie bo-beanie? __What if I bring him freshkill? Maybe we'll be best friends! Thats way i told __mommy, but she made brakenfur tell me. he told me tiggywiggystar's a meanie __bo-beanie. is it true yellow wiggles??_

_Likes Tigerstar,_

_Icekit_

_(based on story The Return)_

Dear Icekit,

I can't tell you. You'll find when he eats you live, I suppose.

--Yellowfang (NOT YELLOW WIGGLES!!!!)

* * *

**--Cloudfire and xxEmogaLxx**


	9. More questions 8

**Thank you to Dancer of the Wind! Please everybody, don't send in anymore questions like (look below). Go bug some other Ask thingy. -gives cookie to DotW-** **Disclaimer: Yellowfang is Raggedstar's, co-authoring with xxEmogaLxx**

**Yeah, it's been a while. Oh well.** _

* * *

__Aren't we supposed to ask for HELP, not "What's your favorite color?" "Who's  
your favorite cat?" "Do you like cheese?" GOD! _

--The overly-nitpicky Dancer of the Wind

Dear Dancer of the Wind,  
Yes.  
--Yellowfang 

_Dear Yellowfang, _

A tom in my clan is stalking me! I have clawed his face on more then one  
occasion and it is seriously tickin me off that he still won't leave me alone!  
He is SO flippin annoying! What should I do? Specially cuz I already have a  
tom I like! -snarls at one tom, purrs at another-

Anyway, is Starclan shiny?

You've gotten a lot nicer since you joined Starclan... (Not a question)

If this girl has untied you and moved you to her closet, why haven't you  
escaped yet? Or at least tried to claw her face off.

Btw, why did you name your kit Brokenkit? Was he disformed when you had him?  
Was he always evil?

What was it like bein an apprentice for you?

Anyway, Bye! You're so cool!

-Twilightpaw 

Dear Twilightpaw,

Report to your clan leader that he's being a stalker.

What do you think?

Oh, you think that's _my _choice now?!

'Cause I'm too busy trying to de-stink the closet first. And she's okay.

His _mind_ is broken, for Starclan's sake!

What's it like being an apprentice for _you_?

Duh I'm cool! I'm Yellowfang!

--Yellowfang

_MWHAHAHA I am already dead HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU RESRECT YOUR ELDERS!I  
died YEARS ago but starclan gave etrnal life.So now i cant grow old and i walk  
dead cats spirts to starclan.LOL  
Ghostkit _

Dear Ghostkit,

No, because _I_ am everyone's elder.

You have fun doing that.

--Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang: _

What does Fuschia taste like at twilight on the first Monday of December  
during a leap year, when eaten with a fork?

Now recite the answer backwards while standing on your head.

--Phantom 

Dear Phantom,

Good question.

--Yellowfang

_Dear Yellowfang,  
This story has problems and you need to get help.  
No offense, you and Graysripe are my faves.  
Love, Padfoot _

Dear Padfoot,

Must be a computer virus. I mean, my advie column (that I'm forced to do) has problems? Nah.

--Yellowfang

_Hi yellowfang.  
I have a big problem. I recently found a laptop while i was on patrolvand i  
figured out how to work it, even though all the other clan cats think that i'm  
crazy. now i'm addicted to fanfiction, and the powers running out. What should  
i do?  
-cricketpaw  
ps: WindClan rules!11 _

Dear Cricketpaw,

Get a new battery.

--Yellowfang

PS: You mean StarClan? Yeah, I totally agree/

_I'm happy because I like settling in and doing nothing. Yellowfang, here you  
are: _

1. I'm deputy now, and I hear that the dawn patrol picked up scents of  
ShadowClan over the border. I'M supposed to meet them, IN THEIR TERRITORY! HAS  
BRAMBLESTAR GONE HORRIFINGLY MAD? It will be suicidal if I go there, but what  
else can I do?

Yellowfang, read the end the book the Salvation Flame. In the end, you kill  
Scourge. 

Dear Bristlefur,

You could at least start with a greeting!

You can get some other cat to go instead.

Yes, but I die after helping ShadowClan.

--Yellowfang

_Heehee, that was funny:) I love Yellowfang. Most of the cats in the 1st  
series didn't really have a personality, so it's great to see a cat with one!  
And I can see Yellowfang becoming a medicine cat for the deathberries... . _

I loved that! Twas great:) 

Dear MoonfireSpam23,

I was the only cat with a real personality, and the Erins give the spotlight to some kittypet!

--Yellowfang

NOTE: that was mah co-author, xxEmogaLxx.

_Yellowfang-big problem. I'm a warrior in a foreign clan and I found a laptop,  
and that's how i'm writing. An enmemy clan is threatening spam. HELP ME!  
P.S edgeClan is original! No copycats, plz fellow warriors!  
-Stormstar, leader of EdgeClan. (Clan name coming soon, story coming soon  
hopefully) _

Dear AresResurected,

What is _with_ all these people not starting off with a greeting?!

Spam them first.

--Yellowfang

--NOT A LETTER--

_Um, I don't read your stories...but I couldn't help but notice that you had  
four stories lined up in a row with [ON HAITUS written in the summary, so I  
went to check out the reason, and found this author's note. I was just  
wondering what novel contest it is to see if I could enter the story I've been  
working on. Could you please reply back with more information? I hope to  
hear from you soon. _

Raynefire15—I am so, so sorry that I didn't get back to you sooner! I don't know if you got the review, but the link probably didn't show up anyways. There's next year too. Again, I'm really, really, really, really, REALLY sorry!!

_I read the important so just wait. _

Dear Yellowfang,  
Hi, my name is lydia. Though my cat form is Iceflame. I was wondering if you  
like the other Thunderclan medicine cats.  
Also, I have 2 cats at my home. One is white and fluffy and is an idiot. The  
other looks like Tigerstar. He goes outside alot. Maybe tigerstar had yet  
another kid and my Scooby is the kid. ACK.  
Also do you like the Twilight vampires? It is a good book.  
And Harry Potter. Do you like him. That is all.  
-Lydia/Iceflame  
P.S. Ice flame is white with ginger spots, like squirllflight. Do you like  
the name? 

Dear disneytiger,

Hm. Spottedleaf was a little too…wimpy in my opinion. Of course I liked Cinderpelt—she was my apprentice! Leafpool and Jaypaw—don't know yet.

--Yellowfang

* * *

**Review! Remember, only if you need help (or you're pretending to like help, but nothing pointless)**

**--Cloudfire**


	10. The End

Hey y'all

I'm discontinuing this. It's getting boring - sorry to all those who enjoyed this - and I've just lost interest.

So I guess you could say Yellowfang escaped and went back to StarClan. See that bright star up there (if it's night, the Sun doesn't count, not for this)? There's Yellowfang. Wave to her!

--S.H.


End file.
